Dear, Dr Love

I’m a 28 year old male from Frisco. I’ve been dating this woman for about two years now, and she still refuses to give me anal sex. I'm aching to try it, and she acts like it’s a death penalty. How can I talk her into letting my meat in the backdoor?

Refused Backdoor Access

Dr Love:

Well, RBA, anal sex is not the epitome of sexual desire for women. They actually have to make sure they can still sit down again after having it.

Next time you have her in the throes of passion whisper softly in her ear to prepare her for penetration, wet your finger and slowly, gently slide your pinky inside her asshole. You can more or less gauge her reaction from that. If she begins rocking back and forth with you, continue what you’re doing and you’re on the road to Anal Ecstasy. If she backs out and yelps in pain, quickly remove the finger and return to plowing the field. Every girl is different, DBA, and remember, this isn’t the movies.